It’s like yesterday when the year just started.. Almost half a year gone. Many things have happened though. Right now, other than exams, the other most stressful thing in my life now is my cca - Choir.
In exactly 8 days, we are going to have a concert at the church of resurrection behind my school. Will also be the last concert for the secondary 4s. Would definitely miss them after they would leave before mid years ( esp. Joel Toh ). I can say since sec 2, he was the most fun senior I had met other than Ariel which is more serious. We’ll talk rubbish during choir and make fun of teachers ( AHAHAHHA).
Well, the point I’m trying to make here is they’re leaving. Now it’s up to the current sec 3s to lead the choir. I really miss the times when I was sec 1 and choir was so carefree :) Honestly, I had sort of lost interest in Choir for quite abit. And we all thought with the current batch of sec 1s and most of the sec 2s being useless ( Don’t mean to say that but it’s the truth.), the current sec 3s just thought what would happen after we leave. We could help them with the upcoming Singapore Youth Festival (SYF) next year but after that it’s over.
GAHHH… So frustrating. I also really look down on those members who really like to suck up to the teachers. Some even had parents coming to be an extra and do not important sh*t.
Choir aside, there’s still my elective problem. Changing from Art to Geography. Not really sure at this point whether it’s a good choice but all I’m sure is that I would rather fail geography for mid years rather than fail my ‘N’ levels and pulling down my score.
No one ever wants to be a
failure in life. That includes me. My decisions I make now would decide the path for the rest of my life. I just gotta do my best.
Last of all, I wanna thank God that I chose Normal Academic over Express after the PSLE during P6. Had such great friends I have met since sec 1 and really treasure them. ^.^ Hope they feel the same too!
A Really Good Friend
What makes a good friend? I guess to me, a good friend would encourage you when you’re down, always offer moral support, play with you ( whether online or irl ) , even sometimes, to lend a shoulder to lean on.
Okay… I met this guy in Sec 1. His name is Lucas Allan. We weren’t really on good terms that time becos I think I said something about his dad which wasn’t very offensive but nonetheless after knowing his family conditions ( only since sec 2 ) I knew why. At the start of sec 2, honestly I hated my class. It was that point in my life that I even thought choir was more of a class to me then. So at that time, I was closest only to this guy called Julian. I guess the thing that brought us together was just the common interest of MineCraft.
After like 2 months I guess, this guy Lucas, he somehow just stuck with us. ( Paisehh I rlly Forgot ). Than at that time we kept disturbing him about how he has really little hair ( like bald jokes ) and stuff. Thinking back, I feel really bad. If you’re seeing this, I’m Sorry. :(
So, we grew closer and closer that people would see us as a 3-man gang consisting of a Nigel, Julian and Lucas.
It was the start of sec 3 that I grew closer with Lucas but the only thing different was that I’m drifting further and further away from Julian. I mean like we still stick together and all but the feeling just isn’t the same with him alrdy. I guess after knowing 'certain' truths led to this.
Okayyy… that was just an intro but abit off topic hahas :))
Main thing today: I passed my 2.4 km runnn with a timing of 15:05. So happy. But it was all possible thanks to Lucas. I failed my first try cos i walked with Julian so today I had to re-do it. Lucas passed but he just ran with me to push and encourage me. Throughout the whole run, he was constantly telling me to:
” Breath through your nose and out through your mouth. “
" Don’t stop running. You’ll slow down."
" Swing your arms more."
" Keep to my pace."
" Good Job!"
Was really encouraged by him :) Thank you :)) if you ever see this, just want you to know that I couldn’t have done it without you and Arigato Gozaimasu ( Thanks!)
The Thanks I might never have the courage to say.
Okay… Ever since I said the sinner’s prayer last Sunday during church service ( Dated: 13/4/14 ) , I’ve been feeling different.. This particular cell leader, all I can say is she’s very nice. :) Anyways since then, I’ve been thinking how does Christians live like what and what not to do. Also, been receiving messages from Christine ( Cell leader) saying more about God and Jesus. I’ve also been asked to read certain parts of the Bible. For example, Luke 19 was read last night. Though I didn’t get much of it, but I still read it.
And just to sort of describe that indifferent feeling, I actually feel a little more special for the first time in my life. Had a lecture from my parents last night about the Bible camp that I was really hoping that they would agree for me to go for but.. they were sort of reluctant. And one sentence from my mum struck me the most,
" I don’t know how long you’re gonna stay interested in this. “
That just really shows that she’s saying I might get bored of this and just decide to quit. Well, I’m not gonna. Though I started on things in my life that I just quit halfway, I’m not gonna just let this one slip. The kindness the people showed me at the church. It was just overwhelming. And the messages I received. It just made me feel special in one way or another. :’D The message sent today and yesterday.. I just wanna say
" Thank you. “
though I might not be able to say it in reality.
" I want you to answer a question in your own head without thinking about it. Just give your gut reaction as soon as you read the question.
Ready? Here we go:
who is the person you love most in the world? Is it your best friend? Is it your spouse or your child or your Great Aunt Liz or your German Shepherd, Roscoe? Who in your life just sets your heart on fire? Who is that person you are most devoted to and most excited to be with? Who is that person you’re crazy about, in spite of all their faults? Who is that person you would defend at all costs? Okay. Now picture them. Can you see their face in your mind’s eye and hear their voice and their laugh?
Focus on that face you love and think about the way you feel about them. I want you to try something. Take your affection and commitment for that person and multiply it a million times. Multiply it a billion times. Imagine that huge love you have radiates with the eternal, explosive power of a trillion burning suns, no matter what that person does or who they become, forever and ever. Now, I want you to imagine what it would be like to be loved like that. What if Jesus loves you with that kind of intensity and constancy? He says you’re the apple of His eye. He says you enthrall Him. He says you are His chosen, His beloved, His friend. He says He’ll never forget you and never forsake you. What if you believed those words with all of your heart? What if His thoughts about you were the most precious thing in the world to you? “
I guess this would be about the cell I attended yesterday. Didn’t want to forget about it.
Was held at Andrew’s house and we had to start with our testimonies on what we would thank god for that made our week better in one way or another.. ( I had to think very hard before I left my house thinking what to say :’D ) And I came up with a simplistic one like:
" Thank God that the rain stopped as I left the house. “
Yes, it’s simple but hard to think of.. Carrying on, we watched a video from I think it’s called the Bible series ( might be wrong :P ) and it shown how Jesus was denied and crucified.. There was this part when the ‘crowd’ were asked to choose who to free. Jesus, the King or a murderer. Was shocked to see them choose the murderer rather than Jesus. I asked Andrew why and he said that the people doesn’t agree that he is the King. They even asked for Jesus to be crucified..
Saw the different kind of tortures Jesus had to go through and just by looking at it, It’s as if I could feel the pain too. The whipping, crown of thorns, carrying the cross to the nailing of him to the cross. There were 2 other people beside him ( not sure why they’re there for ) and one said:
”Since you’re God, why not send your angels down to save you?”
I forgot what the other guy said :’D but Jesus replied something about paradise after that. He died after saying:
” Father, why have you forsaken me? “
Resurrected after 3 days and I guess that just summarises what I watched yesterday. Note: It was all from memory. Don’t judge :’D
After that the cell leader said something about whether was God real or was she just telling how great he is just to comfort herself. It’s true that even though I’m not a Christian but being in a Anglican school can’t help that I ever tried ” testing ” whether God was real. But she said, :
" God will communicate with us differently from how the world would think he communicates with us. “
Yup, that’s about it. Actually, I have to say, it wasn’t that boring as I thought it would be… The cell contains very nice people I think. Just that I would need to take time to actually know them. It’s difficult but I guess I’ll try. :)
P.S : Really forgive me if I typed anything wrong becos it’s all from memory of what happened yesterday.
"But I have to see it to believe it,
What if you had to believe it to see it. :)"
Sugoi Sugoi! <3
Guilty Crown OP. 1 of the best animes I’ve ever watched. ;’D
My ” Phobia ” of not looking back at people I’m not close to.
I seriously don’t know when this started but, whenever someone I’m not close to talks to me, I just can’t look back for some reason. I mean like I try to look back sometimes ( cos it’s rude not to look at the person while he/she is talking to you) but it’s just hard… For instance, I slacked instead of doing what I was supposed to do and I got scolded. While my teacher is scolding me, I tried looking back at her eyes but I just couldn’t do it and had to look somewhere else.. I think it might be one of my ways to resolve awkwardness by not looking but… Haizz ;_; …
But I was told that,
" It takes time. "
from Andrew’s cell leader on the way home last night and I sort of got it. :’D Thanks for making an effort to try to talk to the very anti-social me.. It was much appreciated :)